I Want To Hit Someone

My apartment is undergoing some kind of construction. Right now the drillings are killing me. It shook me up this morning. No need for alarm clocks. I think they are renovating the lift lobbies dowstairs. I already have a migraine and the noise is aggravating my headache. I am having my shower now and leaving this place to enjoy myself. I will be home late tonight. Catch you later.

Long Weekend Here I Come

I woke up early this morning and procrastinated to attend campus. I gave it a miss. It is Teachers' Day eve and i heard there will be some kind of lame celebration. I am simply not in the mood and was utterly sluggish to go to school. The general condition of the atmosphere made it perfect for slacking and resting at home. Any place is better then that institution. It is dark and gloomy with the occasional rain. My favourite weather. Cynthia will be teaching my class for the last time today. Pop champagne. Something is wrong with my throat since yesterday. I feel like there is a lump stuck down there. Oh dear i have an infection. Maybe it could be due to the cockles i had yesterday. Or was it the night before. Talking about seafood i just had crabs for lunch. Alright my friend is on the way. I have to go now.

Here Without You By 3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

CHORUS:

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

CHORUS

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

CHORUS

Clueless

High School Musical. Is it a kid's show on Disney Channel or is it a movie. I had people coming up to me and talked about it. They shared with me their reviews. Even Farhan knows about it and he likes it very much. If it is really that good then i have to watch. The song Breaking Free sung by Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens proved worthy of downloading. I believe it was the theme song featured in High School Musical.

Recovering By The Minute

I shook my head and turned my back to invitations on Saturday. I ignored my hangout sessions and shut myself out from the world. I refused to see anyone and drenched myself in misery at home from dawn till dusk. I apologise for my behaviour and i appreciate all the well wishes. Thank you for your patience. I was soaked in sorrow i actually said no to club at Momo. I was hyper overwhelmed i had reached rock bottom. I was engulfed by rage and fury amidst the melancholy and despondency. Now where did i learnt those words.

Time passes so dreadfully slow when your are down and feeling blue. I shut my eyes and tried to sleep. I thought i had the longest and darkest night of my life. The sun peeked over the horizon and the warm rays peered through my windowpane. It was Sunday. Precious Saturday was wasted so i decided to pick myself up and do something about it. I have the power to make a change. Pointless to brood so retail therapy was the answer. It proved reliable. I bought two briefs at Heeren that costs me fifty two bucks. Impulse shopping.

Spaghetti

She was so gorgeous today. I miss our irritating times together. I miss annoying you with the computer mouse.

A Star Is Born

I was somewhere out there chatting with Sharill on my handphone without free outgoings mind you and missed last week's Spectacular. I heard raving reviews about Hady Mirza. My brother was so impressed he voted for him. See the thing is my brother is not one of those people who calls in and stuffs but he was so dazzled by his performance that he decided to throw in an sms in support and admiration. I might not live to see another day by saying this but brother actual shed a tear or two. Even during the repeat telecast on Saturday which i managed to witness Hady for myself. The camera zoomed at his mama sobbing like a baby in the audience. That made him welled up. It was a Kodak moment i am telling you everyone held their breath. Whether the same happened to me is for you to find out. It was a powerful and moving rendition of the malay song. It touched my heart and i connected. I agreed with Ken. Best performance all season. Just like me Hady is afterall human. Tough on the exterior but sentimental deep inside. Him and i shares the same bubbly personality and outgoing character.

The Fallen Idol

Rahimah Rahim was ousted from Singapore Idol albeit prematurely. I am not a fan and i personally do not think she can go the distance. But i do however agrees that she has a certain uniqueness in that sonorous quality of a voice to match her peculiar and often unpredictable personality. She was over zealous and melodramatic in her performances both on and off stage we all cried buckets along with her. Sometimes her singing gets on my nerves to tell you honestly. Her demise was forthcoming. She was a classmate of my sister from secondary one to three and they two shared the same CCA. She even came over to my house before and chatted with grandmama.

Where Are We Heading

How long more is this going to go on. We do not see each other no more we barely talk at all.

I Want To Break Free

I hate it so much when i am in love. Seriously. It makes me weak and vulnerable. I appear fragile and i look stupid. I cannot control my feelings. My emotions rule my head it is ruining my life. I know my weakness but i am not doing anything about it or not trying hard enough. This is not the first time i am head over heels over someone. But it seems to me that i am unable or more appropriately never be able to conquer this delicate issue. I never handled it well since primary school. It is cliche but i am a standard example of the phrase: "When love and hate collides."

I love you oh so much. I feel so sissy by stating that here but this is my blog so shut up. Yes you mean the world to me now i can hardly breathe. You grabbed first priority. I cannot live a single day without you by my side. You said you love me too and i was over the moon. How admirable it is for you to live life as it is but sadly i am struggling. You are handling this pretty well i noticed. I am crumbling down when you are high and mighty. I feel freaking lousy about myself. I am so breaking apart cannot you see? Perhaps you chose to be oblivious to the surroundings.

My life is topsy turvy and all jumbled up i felt lost. Just because i am in cloud nine nothing else works. It is crazy but all i can think about is you. When i eat i will wonder if you had eaten and stuffs like that you get my drift. It is really funny because i only knew you for a few months and back then you do not appeal to many. You are like a pin in a haystack. Somewhat of a rare breed just like myself. I saw you through your flaws and spotted your astounding potentials. I told myself i could not let you go and you are worth my attention. Damn i am missing you right now.

Anyway back to basics. Ever since you came into my life things were not going my way or as planned. I found myself doing things against my will and principles. My success rate is rolling downhill. I am witnessing tragedies happening right before my eyes but i am just standing still playing possum. The power of love as some may say. I must however have a grip of myself and gain control once more. Loving someone sometimes mean leaving or sacrificing them and when returned it was meant to be but if lost then do not frown for it was never meant to last.

I Just Got To Rant It Out Here

I do not know what to do right now. My life is in a mess i feel so screwed. My breaking point is so near i am afraid. I just feel like giving up. I cannot hold on anymore. It is hard for people to understand me or view my perspectives. I am a complex organism and the list goes on. I am so stressed up it is hard to move on. Problems after problems. These are no more challenges that i can undertake but hurdles that pulls me down. My mood swings are haphazard and attacks innocent victims. These days my temper and emotions are random but frequent. There are so many times i felt suicidal. Damn what was i thinking.

School is not working out well. I should not be in that rotten institution that has a detrimental effect on me. Every single day i am simply phasing through lessons after lessons without paying much attention. I do not know how long more i can survive. I am clearly wasting my time. Classes are boring as hell i want to quit. My love life is monotonous there are no more stages to ascent or upgrade. We had reached that saturation point in our relationship but of course i still love my baby. My connection with family stinks. It is my mum's birthday today and i intend to come home late and miss it all just in time for bed.

Off To A Bad Start

Half hour passed nine and i am up blogging. There is class at eleven but i am not going. My biological clock woke me up at eight and i could not get back to sleep. Along came in an sms which i decided to give a call back. Early in the morning barely fully woken up and i am greeted with heartaches and pains. That phonecall sucks. Most of the phonecall sucks as a matter of fact but only recently. I am not going through the details but i hope it will not ruin my Thursday. The weekends are near. I can almost smell them. My little escapade sort of getaway. Oh i cannot wait.

There Goes My Weekend

I had max out from running all over the place. So much to do in so little time. Now i have to count sheeps or be a panda in school later. Good night.

The Amazing Race

This was what happened. Friday came and school was out of the list. Read previous entry. Plans to chill with a brother was washed down the drain. He was not in the pink of health. He was under the weather and i understood. Proceeded to do my laundry and other household chores that needed my attention. Came evening and i am happy i accomplished what i set out to do. Packed my bag and off to watch 'An American Haunting' at Shaw Towers in the vicinity of Bugis. A creepy venue for a spooky tale. The show scared the daylights out of me except that i was watching it half hour before midnight. Bestfriend thought it was an awesome motion picture. Based on a true story man what do you expect.

Spent the night at a friend's crib. Boy i crashed his place good. With only a few hours of sleep i got up before everyone else and prepared for the beach. Sentosa was packed as usual with the occasional beachcombers and bummers. Time flies when you are having fun. The sun began to set and it was time for me to make my way to Chinatown. Met up with some people before excusing myself to Tiong Bahru for a haircut. Jason is beginning to suck so i had to rely on someone else. My locks were gone along with the copper highlights. I was desiring to have my hair in blue streaks but hell i am a student. Then there was Sunday with dear girlfriend watching 'Click' at Lido featuring Adam Sandler.

When Two Becomes One

It is funny how you absorbed my wisdom like a sponge and i am losing it. You are growing stronger by the day and i am withering. I can see my essence manifesting in you. You are learning fast. I am proud. I can see the radiance now. You had grown and evolved so much in this short period of time. Well done. May God blesses the both of us.

I Want To Go Home

I gave school a miss today. My health is deterioriating and i am burned out. Totally bummed. I was super sleepy and exhausted i think i reached my limit. There is only so much i can take i must learn to rest or suffer the consequences. My boiling point is near. I cannot recall when i last fall sick but i vomitted two days ago. My addiction for Marlboro is killing me. The throat can get so sore on some mornings it felt acidic. At the rate of one hard pack per every twenty four hours on an average is enough to land my ass in the hospital bed soon. Not to mention the hole that burns in my pocket. The heart is weakening too. My cough can get pretty nasty at times and my voice will get all husky. Damn i cannot sing when that happens. I will sound like a croaking frog. On a serious note i am breaking apart with the occasional migraine that excruciates. Feels like drill works on my brain. I need to take a step back and relax. I should just stop in my tracks and breathe.

Human Evolution

Sometimes i wonder and think to myself. Is what we had developed and still continue developing in this short span of time between two homosapiens really called love. Could it be something else. There were times when our minds got so clouded we could not think straight. What if it is pure admiration towards my stature and the constant thirst for knowledge to improvise and attain greatness instead that what you thought was love is simply sheer respect towards someone older and wiser who has lessons that benefits your piddling life. The primal urge for perfection and the need to continuously better ourselves drives you to win my heart and in favour of my good books when in actual fact you were not really loving me at all. It frightens me. Other then the qualities i mentioned there are no other real reasons for my existence in your life. Please do not discard me when i am obsolete.

Unbelievable

I cannot begin to fathom that we actually spent hours together from morning till two past midnight. Walking aimlessly to God knows where. Thankfully we did not get lost. I can only laugh in awe at the things we do or got ourselves into. But we sure do had some major fun. Here i am waiting for you to buzz me when the Sony Ericsson beeped. I rushed to the phone smiling which reversed into a frown. It was the Bitch (notice the capital 'B'). I refrained from cursing under my breath and proceeded to reply the sms politely but firmly. You should be up by now. We have plans for the afternoon. Please wake up.

Rotten Egg

My accounting sucks and i am going to flunk ultimately. I can see my progress sloping downhill steadily like acquiring bad sales throughout the year on a powerpoint chart slide presentation. This is scary and it needs with utmost importance an immediate attention. For the first time i am actually feeling worried about my inability to cope with school work. I thought i was able to handle it pretty well albeit slacking and given the experience gained in secondary school taking Principles Of Accounts. I have zero confidence in passing this module. I will not be able to make it. A far cry from scoring distinctions. Somebody please help me.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

My life these few days had been nothing short of a dream i do not intend to wake up from. Seemingly superficial but amazingly magnificient. I am imbued with a new found strength fused with high voltage energy and psyched with optimal enthusiasm. My approach to life now is to live every single day like it is my last. I am caught smiling and humming if not singing most of the time. I am blest and will cherish every passing moment awaiting wearily the uncertainty of the abyss that lies beneath the deep blue sea. I comprehend that my paradise on earth was never perpetual. A dream is afterall only a dream. A foreboding enchantment i cannot break free.

Animalistic Instinct

I am taking an intermission from my domestics right now. It is hard being independent. No wait... It is hard just by being me. I decided to make today a Stay-Home-Saturday. Tons of work to be done and projects due for submissions real soon. Mr Tong once labeled me the chameleon of the class. Not the one with the angular head, prehensile tail and eyes that can move independently of each other. Nor the ability to change skin colour rapidly in their habitat plus a long and agile tongue for catching prey. But my periodically changing persona and my immaculate flair to blend seamlessly into any given situation or environment. I accommodate to my surroundings pretty well and i am highly adaptable. Hence the chameleon metaphor. I experimented with myself such as changing the colour of my eyes and hair. I can also be tanned at one moment and fair the other. Apart from the fact that he had spotted me with three various hairstyles and many more appearance changes thus far, he knows that i am capable of transposing myself out of harm's way. Just like the dynamic lizard. My laundry is waiting for me. I have to go now. Back to my household chores.

Gently Down The Stream

I kicked start to a rocky morning yesterday. I was in an extremely foul mood that i saw red most of the time. With a twist of fate the storm slowly dissipated and i soon regained my composure. I was as calm as the sea once more. I began having a whale of a time. Dragon boating was a blast i almost lost my voice. There were no regrets participating and i am glad i had my friends with me rowing by my sides. The people i wanted most were with me and i enjoyed myself to the fullest. My team got in first. We were the champions. Hip hip hooray! Further quality time was well spent at Esplanade. My problems were pretty much solved and a lot was attained. I am satisfied. To wrap things up i had the greatest night of my life at Yishun Park.

Another Winter Day

I was cursed with a sullen spell that puts me in a rotten mood. For days i was feeling depressed. My world was in monochrome. Time ticked gradually. Nothing seemed colourful and attractive anymore. The rainbow in my cerulean sky was nowhere to be seen. Over the horizon there is no telling when the dark clouds will give way to a bright sun shining day. But i believe my luck will change for the better. Just like the tide that ebbs and flows.

Almost four in the morning and i am not in bed yet. I have to be up by six for dragon boating at Kallang Basin. Although this activity is nothing new to me and sea sport had always been my interest i do not feel like attending it later. But i will grace the occasion and make my presence known for the sake of my comrades. They anticipated my arrival. Although i lacked the heart and soul i will try to put on my best performance and have fun.

Happy Birthday Singapore

I went to watch the pyrotechnics at the Esplanade. The fireworks display was nothing out of the ordinary. I wanted spectacular. I expected more since the organisers were using our tax payers' money. The human congestion was overwhelming. They stood there helplessly and witnessed their hard earned shekels burned and exploded into oblivion. Like a little child i leaped and cheered each time the rockets detonated. It was a sight to behold and i was enjoying myself. The night sky with the full moon as the backdrop was illuminated by a million stars with a kaleidoscope of colours. It was a canvas well painted Da Vinci would be shamed. I reached out my hands foolishly hoping to grasp the falling glitters. In a heartbeat it was all over but for some good fifteen minutes i was standing in awe soaking in the beauty of the moment. There were fifteen of us but i wished you were there with me in my arms.

PS: I stayed back late to catch Electrico performed live. They were awesome. Ronin was in the house too.

Dear Shikin

You told me once that i make a better friend then a good lover. I will always remember that.