Dash For Crash

I should have seen it coming. The signs were there. I had dreams and premonitions of sorts. This heart felt restless. True enough. The accident happened.

! Kelly Clarkson

Melancholy Sunday

Iftar at home for the relatives and close friends went well. It was tiresome having to whip up a storm in my miniature kitchen for everyone but all was done in good will. I never really liked cooking but it is something i can do to get people together and tighten bonds among those close to my heart. Especially in a holy month like this. I need to earn some credits to enter heaven sensing that i am almost doomed for the other alternative. None invited were absent. It was full strength. They are all safe in their respective homes as i am typing this entry. Thanks for calling to inform. I just get too worried sometimes. I am sure you understand. Too many had come and go in my life and these incidents left great marks i can never recuperate from. Hey Kamal i wish you a speedy recovery. Those wounds looked wicked. His chain got jammed along MacRitchie and he was dragged some metres before coming to a halt. Thank God he was only traveling at 40 kilometres per hour at the left most lane. To all my rider friends please ride safely and adhere to the speed limit. This is not the time to say goodbye. The festive season is round the corner. Spare a thought and think about your loved ones. Do not be reckless and cocky. Like they say be safe not sorry. On this night i pray to the almighty to hear me as i plead for you with the power to bless my family and friends from danger and harm.

alfateha kepada rakan-rakan kita yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah kerana kemalangan jalanraya

Mufasa Mufasa Mufasa

Hey you. Yeah you. I am missing you. Call me up sometime. Or meet up for coffee. Though coffee is a big no no for the both of us. Oh you get the drift. I miss you many many.

Tons...

Loads.

The Heart Is Calling Out...

My First And My Last

My feelings for you got the better of me. My feelings for you clouded my judgement. There is still much to learn. But there is not much time left on the clock. Emotions hold me back. From major progress i know i could have achieved. It makes me weak. It makes me sick. I must stop feeling. Even if it makes me less of a human. I am Shahren. I am the strong.

My Enemy Is Myself

"Conquer thyself. Till thou has done this thou art but a slave." - For it is almost as well to be subjected to another.

Till i beat myself only then can i call myself a champion.

School Is Out Time To Hit The Street

Today is the first day of my school holiday in technical speaking and of course the dawn of Ramadan to coincide in less then perfect harmony with my plans to let loose. I will still enjoy myself but in moderation and party in respect with regards to the holy month. No clubbing and no drinking that is for sure. I abstained from food and water for more than fourteen hours. I did good. Nothing i am not capable of. I was trained to go without core and basic necessities during my stint in the army. The same goes for sleep. Most of my comrades left camp to blend back into society seamlessly but i held on to the tough and rigorous trainings and channelled those valuable lessons into useful advantages to be applied daily in my civilian life. Put nothing to waste.

Last week was a killer with reports and projects and presentations due for scrutiny. Just yesterday i sat for my last paper which was a slight relief from the one i slogged for on Monday. Either days did i study much. Let me fill up on something: I barely completed two chapters for yesterday's paper and it was a miracle that most questions were based on the chapters i flipped and browsed. But i am glad that all is over. My lecturer will have a hard time evaluating my 105 page report for the marketing module and close to 140 pages of entrepeneurship proposals and reports. I gave almost my all for the marketing report. It was the best i did by far to counter the spontaneous presentation which was my worst in all my academic years as a student.

It was a total disaster that presentation. I was unprepared and unprofessional. I was shaky and clumsy. I am still feeling the pinch. Sigh. Moving on to happy thoughts now. Yes my holiday. Four solid weeks away from campus. Pure bliss and relaxation. Graduating soon and then phasing on to career. Get married and have children. Lots of children. Leased a condominium and ride a Jaguar plus perhaps a Ducati parked in the garage. That is my dream. But for now i need to deal with my failures in personal relationships and sort out this one entity i am having trouble handling - love. It is just so tough and cruel. Enough of that here. Feel like going Geylang Serai again. Been there twice already even before the fasting month starts. I am feeling the Raya heat people.