Make This Suffering Stop

It had been three long and arduous weeks since he last laid eyes on the face that could melt his heart of a stone. He did not get to see that smile one last time before he left despite numerous attempts to meet up. Excuses were orchestrated and reasons were choreographed. It was fine. He understood. He packed his bag and left. Hours before he was miles above ground a dispute broke out and the conversation ended. The telephone was slammed and his heart shattered. This man was left bruised and battered. But he bit his lips and remained strong. He understood.

He did not get to bid his last cheerio but wished for well and prayed for safety. The phone rung and he was longing to hear the one voice that mattered. But it was futile. Time flies and for a week the number did not flashed. There were no calls. He was told that his absence was much needed and appreciated. He was moving on. But the name never missed an hour in his thoughts. Eh ini kalau dia ada mesti dia suka. Eh nak belikan apa eh. Entah dia suka benda ini ke tidak. He was in a pitiful state. It was excruciating to see him like that. Evidently he was unable to move on.

Name Worth Mentioning

Best recruit in Raven Company. Congratulations Khairul.

There Is No Place Like Home

Hello. I am back and intact in one piece. Safe and sound. Home sweet home... Not! But it sure beats the hustle and bustle of rural Bali. Dominated by the Hindu community outnumbering other ethnic groups at ninety percent and weak in pursuit are the Christian inhabitants at nine percent. That computes the Muslim at a mere one percent leaving me and gang famished for most times. The suckling oink oink were not in the least appetising at all. Then around the bends McDonald, KFC and A&W came to the rescue. These fast food restaurants are certified halal.

Great bargains and knick-knacks decorated the streets of Kuta. Our dollar is robust against their rupiah which translates into excessive shopping. The nightspots were kickass and their infamous Bintang brew was well... Wicked! The Balinese demonstrated outstanding hospitality. Even in the massage parlours. But we shall not get there shall we. Oh and how can i not mention the pristine beach. It was totally awesome! The waves were real. It hit me hard as i was happily and blissfully running down deeper into the ocean underestimating the prowess of the open sea.

I had to sulk back up the shore to warn the rest only to be laughed at. I must add that nudists littered the white but coarse sands of the conspicuous Kuta Beach. Probably Australians. The peeps from down under forms the bulk of the tourism. Hard Rock Cafe and Planet Hollywood are places revelers must include in their itinerary and the gigantic Discovery Shopping Mall overlooking the ocean cannot be missed. Other then these modern destinations i also visited a volcano which sent shivers down my spine. The air up there was cool and the atmosphere was refreshing.

Dinner at Jimbaran was sentimental. Watching the sun setting in all its awe and then dissipating beneath the horizon. The sea glistened in crimson tides while diners feasted on their sumptuous seafoods and shuffling the sand beneath their feets to the sounds of talented musicians entertaining us with song requests. Before i end this column i would like to add that i witnessed another rainbow. This time singular. It reminded me of a special someone back home and i smiled. I am home now and i cannot wait to see you again. You never left my thoughts and i miss you lots.

Bon Voyage

It is time. I am leaving tonight. I will be back in a week. Just in time for Christmas. Bali here i come. Surf up! Ride the waves!

People Come And Go In Our Lives But You Leave Footprints In My Heart

I saw a rainbow in the heavens. Two rainbows. And there were two of us. Sitting in the cab. Chattering blissfully watching the clouds passed us by and idling our life away. The rainbows were complete arcs. And they were beautiful. Stretching across the cerulean sky. Was it your sharp eyes or mine that spotted it first. It does not matter. To you it was just nature showing off to mankind. To me it was more then just a phenomenon. It had been quite awhile since my last sightings. Rainbows do not appear on a regular basis. So that day was special. I saw rainbows. And i saw it with you. It was a blessing. It was a sign.

I believe God sent me to you for a reason. Everybody plays a part in everybody's life. I have faith in fate. He delievered you in my arms for logics witheld and unknown. The man up there works in mysterious ways and wonders. I had so much difficulties letting go. Damn it is impossible. He will not let me. There is nothing for me to gain and benefit but heartaches and pains. It hurts oh so badly. Bruised and battered this heart. This is a test. Both for you and i. We had this conversation before and we made a pact at midnight to stick through thick and thin. Let us make this work. For together we make a pair. An invincible duo.

Till my job is done then perhaps will i leave and live in peace. There were times when i hated you so much. And there were times when i loved you more then life itself. Either ways you are here to stay. It is ironic and uncanny indeed. Needless to question more for answers untold but the need for us to walk through this journey together and attain the ultimate enlightenment. I need you to be strong just like you want me to stay strong. Our contributions to one another are divine and mighty. I realised that and it is paramount for you to view from my perspective. It is amazing. Do not take things for granted. Please understand that.

And so i gazed at the rainbows in awe. Deep in my heart silently but surely i made a wish. I wished for us to be together for as long as it takes till it takes no more to let go. Because for now it is too soon. Too soon to bid farewell. No doubt all good things must come to an end but why must the end be now. I will work in all my strength and power to pull this shit together. You are a challenging individual. And so am i. It is funny albeit frustrating how i had not given up although i wanted to and no matter how tempting it seemed. That would be wise but what is wisdom compared to matters of the heart. I bet not even cupid can answer that.

You are maturing and growing up right before my eyes. Getting all professional and natural. You will be successful and glorious one fine day. I cannot help but notice the evolution. I see you more then your family sometimes. Especially recently. You just returned home to catch some snores because we were having a whale of a time till late. How unfortunate it was to have you succumbed to lethargy and fatigue. But that is another tale to tell. For now you are transforming. I am not generous with my compliments but i will give credit when it is due. You are much better looking now among many other impressive qualities.

Scientifically the lighter shades of the second rainbow is a reflection of the more vibrant and visible first rainbow. I pondered. As usual. I do not look at a tree like a tree is to you do i. I made comparisons. I passed off as the first rainbow and having you as the second rainbow following not far behind. Soon i will fade and you will shine for age and illness are catching up with me. Your true colours and potentials will show to the world how great you can be above all else. And i am not sure where will i be. But i am not afraid. I had left a legacy. Just look at yourself now. I smile. I see myself in you sometimes. And that makes me proud.

Just Too Bad

He is a brother to me. And brothers are family. Family transcends everything and everyone. Even you. I am sorry.

Domestic Affairs

Few weeks ago me and mum had one of the bigger fights. It was dreadful. This was how it went. I was sitting in my room surfing the internet when i heard a familiar shuffling of shoes down the corridor. Soon the clinking of keys were heard and the main door swung open. I minded my own business when mum entered the forbidden room. I should had locked it. Hell it was not even shut. Irregardless she will still knock like she always did and i had to allow her entry. But i could be pretending to be sleeping.

Mum sat behind me and i ignored her presence as usual. Without much ado she uttered words of accusations. I did not retaliated. I tried to be patient and cool. Then the heart started to beat rapidly and heavy breathing soon succumbed. I hated it. I knew what that meant. The inevitable happened. I broke my silence when she illustrated my friends into the picture. I am defensive when it comes to my buddies. The special ones especially. I stood up and turned around. Behold what happened next.

I bellowed in a voice not of my own and spouted strings of unpleasant remarks. I ordered her to leave my room and mentioned that it would be best if she was... dead. I would be better off without her as i do not need her at all. I highlighted how much i hated her. Mum and i had not been talking for a long time and i emphasised that it was blissful. Grandmama had to intervene because she claimed i was disturbing the neighbours and i was embarrassing the household. Grandmama had the jitters.

Grandmama seldom interfered unless it was immense. Mum was weakened and sobbing one corner. I was towering above her and challenged her. I grew overpowering and uncontrollable. I told her to advance towards me and fight. What the hell was i thinking. I can inflict serious injuries in a moment of anger. I gained enormous strength each time my blood boils. I knew it was the works of evils. Mum remained rooted to the ground. I was already clenching my fists. Thank God no one was physically hurt.

I need to turn myself in for rehabilitation. It did not ended with mum. Fights broke out with brother a few weeks later. I was watching television in the hall and brother just had a bone to pick. His attacks could be vicious. I remained still and silent for as long as i can hoping that he would shut up since it was impossible for my ears to filter his lashings. I tried not to blow my top. I knew it would be nasty. But the volcano erupted. We exchanged vulgarities and i challenged him to a duel. I left the house.

Event Management

Nikki wants Shahren and his peeps to perform a dance or two. Freestyle we can do. Nikki wants Shahren and his band to hit a number or more. Provide the acoustics and we rock. Nikki wants Shahren to host Nikki's event. Emcee.

I am going Johor Bahru this Monday and Bintan this Wednesday. Leaving for Bali next week and Kuala Lumpur after Christmas. Oh! Christmas Party at my place. Ho! Ho! Ho! Look out for invitations. Check your inbox and mailbox.

Gandalf The White

The sun is rising. Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn look to the east.