Live For Nothing Die For Something

Rambo IV out on 24 January 08 around the world. It is this Friday. I try to get tickets for sneaks on Thursday so we can watch together after school.

"Stop kicking the fucking chair!" Said i to the dude who kicked my buddy's seat last week at the movies.

Fruit For Thought:

B1: It is silly but i was thinking if you are afraid of dying alone maybe we can take care of one another when we are old and gray.
B2: Nah... I will get married one day.
B1: I wish i could be just as positive. Trust me it is not easy. Relationships are hard to maintain these days. Even if it had been eight long years.

COOL

I was in Ripcurl's at Marina Square feeling pissed that they do not have my size for this totally dope bermudas and was on my way out when COOL by Gwen Stefani started playing on air. Suddenly my mood changed. I was grinning on ends again like some mad man. I turned to my brother and said, "Can we leave after this song? Somebody kind of dedicated it to me!" He asked me who it was but i just brushed him aside saying it was from someone special. I think he can figure it out. That old song was sort of dedicated to me on Friday and i heard it on Saturday. The irony of the odds these days.

Day Out With My Brother

Early Saturday morning i thought, "Hey why not get big bro to follow me down to Sentosa and watch what i do!" I thought it was a great idea to spend some time with him and show off some stuffs that his little bro is pro at. He sat for awhile and said, "Oh what the hell! Sure!" Got into our beach wear and was out in the next few seconds. It was weird. But it was good. He usually has things to do but apparently not that Saturday. Or maybe he did had plans but sacrificed to be with me. He will never tell. He was just silent and i do not want to enquire anyway. It was an unwritten rule in the family. No lovey dovey mushy crap. The point is he agreed and i was happy he was able to come. I was glad i was with him. Hardly do we spend enough time together. I will normally be with my friends and he will be with his. That is how it has always been. He drove us to the beach and participated in the activities. It was awesome and we had fun. He was damn sporting.

I enjoyed my brother's company so much that i excused myself early. I wanted to continue spending quality time with him. Evening caught up in quite a rush when we got home but we were out in less than an hour after our shower. Dressed up a little and smelling sweet. Had dinner at Marina Square then window shopped at the multitude of boutiques and stores when i got into the Creative shop at level two. I was fascinated at the new gadgets and players available these days. I was drawn to this cool subwoofer. I had been thinking of getting speakers for my laptop. Music sounds silly on integrated sound cards and built-in speakers. Even if it is Altec Lansing. The next thing i knew my dear brother bought it for me. He just took out his card and made the transaction. It was expensive and i appreciate it. I swear i almost kissed him. I was ecstatic. It was late so we went home. Both of us were exhausted to the max. Crashed on the sofa and slept side by side.

My Friday was a pain in the ass but i made it up double time on Saturday. It was a blast.

THANK YOU

Posted on 10 Jan 2008 1737 hours

"Mr. Free-spirited-high-life. The Hero movie you watched with Din was a Japanese movie lah... not Korean. You mixed these two ethnics and got confused. Anyway! If you do decide to be disconnected from your avid fans (like me) by severing ties on your blog... well, pity me. Where else can i retreat in moment of truth and clarity, of hurt and pain? Find me another writer as good as yours, as heartfelt as Ren's, and i will bid your blogspot a bitter farewell."

- From a great friend

JANUARY 22

HEROES season II debuts!

The Missing Pages

The school had risen well and will fall in due time. Similar to all things both organic and non-living. The same rules apply to you and i and this blog too. Most matter of considerable mass are superficial and non-sustainable. Even the strongest bonds and relationships among people and friends crumble in shambles. There is great sense in all these cosmic mumbo-jumbo. If people and concrete buildings deteriorates and decomposes i say it is only logical that the actions of such mere mortals and their creations are doomed and ill-fated. That includes relationships. Good things must come to an end. Nice song by Nelly Furtado. I came to terms that people come and go in our lives. I cannot control much of the future and i cannot alter the past. But i made the best and gave my best. I really did. There are things i regret and the hurt lingers. Haunting and forever daunting. There are achievements i am proud of and other endeavours less fulfilling that i am ashamed of. Even current situations are unpredictable but the times i had with my friends were pretty much well-spent and invested in the best ways possible in my own manner and pattern misconstrued by many. I will nonetheless cherish and treasure the times and lessons learnt.

The school will be brought down to rubbles and grazed to the ground in approximately two years along with all the memories. There will be nothing left but dust and dirt and grime and sludge. In place of once an institude full of life will stand a morbid foundation of a happy community for many gone but not forgotten. The stone pillars and solid columns will come crashing down and so will this blog. The termination of this blog will not coincide with the death of the school but rather sooner than planned. I guess it is time. This blog holds more sad entries full of pain and shame in accordance to the more gleeful ones and my existence in the short-lived school is finally coming to an end. I have been waiting for this day but truthfully i am a little emotional. There are problems unsolved and personal projects unaccomplished. I did not manage to be the best. I have two months left and i hope it is not too late for certain amendments. I do not want to leave feeling dejected and unsatisfied in order to start afresh for 2008. 2007 was harsh. I need to settle the issues that had been bugging me before i can move ahead. I am still striving to correct the errors made. Just give me the chance. I must close the chapters in peace. Not leave them hanging.

Calm And Composed

So it is true. I am more relaxed. I had mellowed down and that is what they all say. Indeed i had changed. I am a much better person now. It is strange. Life is ironic. The twist and turns are amazing. I still do not understand certain things that had happened but that is how it is. Life is a mystery and i try not to dwell too much into the abyss. It is best to leave it as it is. I am at peace with the world and that is a wonderful thing. Happy new year to one and all. May 2008 bring more great beginnings and fresh starts to our lives. I am beginning to see that life is beautiful and i have a tingling feeling that 2008 is going to be promising for me. There are just so much plans up ahead. The closing of one door opens up two more. Smile.

amoris vulnus idem sanat qui facit
the wounds of love can only be healed by the one who made them

Beach Soccer With The Locals