My Life My Rules

Amir said i changed. I said, "I know." I was compelled to tell him that change is inevitable in human evolution but considering his deficient understanding of life and obscure grasp of the english language i decided to restrain myself. I am starting to sound rude so i gagged about it and asked, "Did i lose weight?" Or "Is it the hair?" We laughed along to what i thought were lame jokes. I hate formalities. You were being polite and courteous. I am sidetracking which brings me to my next point. Amir knows how i behave inside and outside school. It is like having the same identical character projecting two opposite and contradicting personalities. Not schizophrenia. But close. To be honest it is really difficult for me to open up to people. I can never be myself. Because if i do i will end up losing them. Especially those close to my heart. I have to be careful. Records were documented. I blend well with the surroundings and adapt quickly to the environments and situations. Sometimes i forget who i am. I am not sure if it is a good thing. They said i am complex and it is almost impossible for people to understand me. I do not talk much nor am i generous with my smiles and laughters after school hours. I became serious. I am respected. They said i should loosen up and not be so hard on myself. I was thinking, "You should see me in school."